Good Morning Ya’ll!
Now that I am a mother, I never realized how much anxiety I truly have. When I was younger and baby free, I never took my anxiety into consideration. Now looking back, I can tell I’ve suffered from it my whole life but motherhood took it to a whole new level. There should be true diagnosis of ‘Mom Anxiety’ because when it comes to my babies and trying to navigate their needs while keeping a clean home, the struggle and pressure can be immense. I even have anxiety for things that are years away from happening, seriously the struggle is real. I’m pretty sure my husband thinks I’m crazy. Maybe it’s just me, but I’m that mom who always thinks something will happen when I’m not there. It could be something positive or negative, it doesn’t matter. I see mothers who love to get away and love to have their me time with not a worry in the world…I wish. Maybe they hide it well because my worried face stands out like sore thumb and the mom guilt kicks in.
I’ve gotten better at handling my anxiety lately, since I know I have two tiny humans who rely on me, but it’s still there. Now with two kids, and trying to cater to both of their needs simultaneously while also trying to keep a clean, cheerful home leaves me often feeling deflated. The overwhelming feeling of anxiety builds up quick, when finding time to play with Kyle and Liliana, cleaning clothes, washing dishes, and getting dinner on the table piles up in my head. But bad days happen, and I often need to find what keeps me calm and collected so I can continue being the best mother and wife. When Liliana was younger, it was easier to please both children. I knew how to navigate her needs a little easier while having extra time to play with Kyle while she napped. Now that she is crawling and moving all over the place, it’s harder. Evenings are also difficult for me because my husband and I sleep upstairs in our bedroom, while the kids are downstairs on the main floor. The anxiety builds to the point where I have trouble sleeping at night because I know they are on the main floor. I always think ‘what if someone breaks in’ or ‘what if a fire starts’. I keep a monitor on my four-year-old son still, just so my anxiety can subside at night while we sleep.
The mom guilt is inevitable. You know that guilt when you put your child in front of the TV so you can drink coffee peacefully and fold laundry. Or when you take your children to their grandparents so you can have some free time with your husband, or even just to grocery shop alone. Just tonight, my husband and I are going to be three hours away to attend our good friends annual Christmas party, and the mom guilt of leaving Liliana with her grandparents has already set it and we haven’t even left yet.
I also can’t forget about the guilt of leaving the kids with Daddy so you can get your nails done or have your hair touched up. This is terrible to say as a mother, but what about me? What about some healing time for us mothers? I’ve come to realize that those moments of “me” time are what help navigate my needs to help me be the best mother and wife I can be. That hour and half that I’m away by myself doing something for me are what help me cope with the daily struggle of anxiety and mom guilt. It relaxes me, and gives me peace in my own mind. Along with my away time, I always try to give myself a nightly, baby free bubble bath with a glass of wine. Just to relax after a long day, and to prepare my mind for another anxiety filled day in the morning.
Yes, sometimes it is a little easier said than done though. The mom guilt always kicks back in full force. What if my kids are looking for me? What if Liliana won’t stop crying? What if they need mommy? But in all honesty, I believe us moms need that time although our kids constantly run through our mind. We go through a lot, more than some people can understand. Yes, our husbands work hard every single day, but us mothers do also. Whether we stay at home or work a full-time job. Motherhood is one of the toughest jobs out there. We are molding little minds into intelligent and hard-working adults. We are responsible for that. If that doesn’t give you some anxiety, I praise you then. I’ve come to realize that mom guilt and anxiety is normal. Every mother just copes with it differently. It could be yoga, meditation, a massage, or as simple as drinking a cup of coffee alone. Just make sure you get that time in, you deserve it.
What about you? Do you mothers go through the anxiety and guilt also? How do you cope?
Have a good Saturday! xo