Mom-Shaming, How is That Even a Thing?

This is probably more of a venting post for me, but I want my opinion to be heard on this because I’ve been seeing a lot of it lately and my main question is

 What’s the freakin’ point of it?!

 

It’s mind blowing to think that mom-shaming is actually a thing in today’s world. Last time I checked, we are all in this together and we all have one goal, to raise our children to be sweet, respectful, successful teenagers and adults. The way that mothers actually put forth an effort to let down other mothers these days is disgusting and frustrating to say the least. What makes you think you’re better than any other mother? Well guess what, you’re not.

Whether you decide to breast feed or formula feed, co-sleep or strictly put them in their crib, work full time or stay at home, have a cesarean birth or natural birth, send your child to daycare or keeping them home, feed them strictly organic food or McDonald’s Happy Meals. WHO CARES.

Why should any other mothers parenting style affect you enough to make nasty comments about it? You would think the maturity of a mother would be above that. We should be supporting each other and learning from each other, not bashing others and trying to be the better mom. Your child will always think you are the best mom out there, because you are their only mom, you’re the one who loves them more than life itself.

I recently had a remark made about my children’s Valentine’s Day photo preview.

“Why wouldn’t you put shoes on your child for their photos”

Hmm, well you know what, maybe my child doesn’t enjoy wearing shoes or considering that I know my child more than anyone else especially another mom-shamer, I know she would just constantly mess with her shoes and I wouldn’t get a good photo out of her. She is ONE, and she looks cute as hell with or without shoes on. If it bothers you that much, that you must go out of your way to comment about it, WHY LOOK. It’s freaking shoes ya’ll, SHOES! Do you seriously have that much time to analyze my photo’s that much? Ignore it, and go about your day worrying about more important things, or at least say something positive!

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(In case you all were wondering how “ridiculous” my child looks barefoot)

The difference is with mom-shamers and the actual mother is we know our children and our everyday lifestyle, quite well actually. (super shocking huh?!)

You just think you know our children and lifestyle.

I am so fed up with other mothers who think it’s okay to go out of their way to criticize someone else’s child just to make them look better. Or attempt to put down another mom, and assume they don’t know what they’re talking about just because their entire life isn’t posted on social media for attention. How could you even go about your day happily knowing you were throwing negative comments out about an innocent CHILD.

How do you even have the time for it?

My life is crazy with two kiddos, bless your heart.

Does it seriously make you feel like a better mother when you shame another mom while hiding behind a computer screen? Do you think it makes your children look better? Do you think it makes you look better? Please tell me, I’d LOVE to know the point of mom-shaming. Because in my eyes, it’s a pathetic, selfless way or showing you are insecure about your own self.

To all of you mothers out there throwing kindness around like glitter to all of us other mama’s trying our hardest each and every day, you’re the real MVP. That’s how grown, mature, adult mothers should be living their lives. Sometimes a confidence boost is what a mother needs during a stressful day, even if it’s different from your parenting style. It’s incredible the amount of criticism I see today on social media. I’ve witnessed it personally and I’ve seen it given to other mothers.

We’ve all made mistakes, we’ve all done things we regret, we’ve all wished we could have changed something, and I’m damn sure we’ve all had made comments about other parenting styles while at the playground or walking around the mall, I’m guilty of it, but the biggest thing about it is KEEP IT TO YOURSELF. It doesn’t make you look any better as a mother or human being by expressing your negative comments, if anything it makes you look like a damn fool, and hiding behind a computer screen, making nasty comments doesn’t make it any better than criticizing someone in person. It’s a shame.

#EndRant

#SorryNotSorry

#SayNoToMomShaming

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What I’ve Learned From Becoming a Mother

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When I became a mother, my entire life changed. During my first pregnancy I thought motherhood would be a breeze. I thought I knew it all and I was one hundred percent prepared.

“I read the baby books, I’m good”

Yeah… nope. I wasn’t good. I learned so much once my son was born, and even more when my daughter came along. Motherhood is one crazy, intense adventure. You will never have it all figured out. Every day of motherhood is completely different and your kids will always surprise you.

Here’s some things of what I’ve learned along the way! I’m sure you mama’s out there can all relate.

  • Silence is not Golden. If you have a toddler, you’ll understand. Unless they are sleeping at night, do not underestimate the silence. Chances are they into something they are definitely not supposed to be into!
  • Your house will never stay “magazine” clean. Let’s just be real. Little ones get into everything! They drop food on the floor, pull out every toy possible, put their fingers all over your windows. Trust me, I clean up multiple times a day to make my house look good enough. But, it will never be spotless.
  • Toys are pointless. I have bought numerous toys for my children over the years, and what do they play with? Tupperware, boxes, cups, etc. Half of their toys just lay around or eventually get packed up in boxes. I certainly don’t recommend going overboard with toys. If they want a new toy, tell them they should donate one first to another child who’s in need of toys.
  • Everything happens at the worst times. When we’re running late and rushing out the door, guess who decides to blow out her diaper last minute? Or my toddler, who decides to vomit in the car when we’re going somewhere that requires him to wear nice clothes. Always make sure you are prepared because anything can happen! I always pack extra, or give myself extra time.
  • Sleep is non-existent. Seriously, it’s not. You may think waking up every few hours only happens in the beginning, but no. There is the teething, the stuffy noses, or that random ‘I want to wake up in the middle of the night’ playtime. It’s inevitable. Let’s not forget that they decide to wake up at the crack of dawn on the weekends, but want to sleep all morning during the week when you have places to be.
  • Forget about privacy. Just the other day my son had a massive meltdown because he wasn’t in the bathroom while I was taking a bath. He absolutely lost it. They will follow you to the bathroom, the kitchen, your bedroom. You’ll always have a little one watching you.
  • Half the time you’ll look a mess. I’m that mom who will doll her kids up, and make them look adorable while I’m sporting no makeup and a mom bun. The effort and time to get myself together is rare. I’ve come to not even care what I look like anymore. Then when I do get dressed up, I feel like a freaking queen!
  • Pick your battles. As much as I love for my kids to look amazing, if my son wants to wear two different socks, I let him. I’d much rather have him all mix matched then dealing with a meltdown. If my daughter keeps pulling out her ponytails, whatever. She can have crazy hair for the day. Sometimes it’s just easier that way.
  • Take one moment at a time. Things will rarely go as planned. It’s nearly impossible to plan a whole day without something having to get switched up. I now go with one activity at a time. If we have time for another, then we’ll do it. I’ve given up on creating an entire day worth of activities.
  • Baby wipes are life. If you’re a mom and don’t agree to this, I’m shocked. Those little wipes can be used to everything! Cleaning butts, cleaning faces, cleaning tables. They are the best thing ever! I’m pretty sure when my kids no longer use them, I’ll still buy them.
  • Always put extra food on your plate. My daughter is only 11 months old and already wants to eat what’s on my plate. Don’t even get me started with my 4-year-old. I tend to always put double on my plate of what I know they like to eat, because it never fails that half of it won’t be eaten by me.
  • If your kid wants to snuggle, then snuggle! As they get older is doesn’t come often. So, when they ask, do it! Even with my younger one. She’s on the move now so she barely wants to sit still, but when she does I soak up every single minute of it. I can’t get enough of it.
  • Your car will never be clean, probably for the next 18 years. You’ll start with baby toys and pacifiers, move on to toddler toys and snack crumbs, and end with sports bags and water bottles. It’ll be an ongoing battle for the next few years!
  • Coffee is your best friend. Before kids, I could go without coffee. Now a days, coffee is my best friend. I’ve learned to love it and I’m sure you will too (If you don’t already).
  • You will feel like you aren’t doing a good job some days. It will happen, you’ll feel the mom guilt. But always try to remember, tomorrow is a new day and those tiny humans will always love you no matter what happens!
  • Raising a child is difficult, no matter what age you are. I was a young mom. I had my son at 22. People tend to think having a child at younger age will be harder. But I disagree, being a mother at any age is hard.
  • The worrying never goes away. I thought once my little ones were older and more independent, I’d worry less. That’s not the case. My son is four and I still constantly worry about him. I don’t think that’ll ever change, even when their adults.
  • You’ll be late to things. This happens, a lot. My husband and I are constantly late to events. Usually it’s that we forget something for the kids, or we underestimate how long it takes to get all four of us ready. Don’t feel bad when it happens, usually everyone gets it.

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Inexpensive Valentine’s Day Gifts For Him

Hey Everyone!

Valentine’s day is about a month away and I don’t know about you all, but I am terrible at picking out gifts for my husband. Women are a little easier in my opinion. Candy, flowers, a card. That’s all we really need. Men can be a little more difficult to choose for without spending a fortune. I decided to do some research to find some cute, inexpensive gifts for him. I’ve came to notice that a lot of these gifts require some DIY work which I think are way more sentimental than just purchasing something. There’s nothing wrong with getting a little crafty occasionally. I’ve come to really enjoy it. I feel a sense of accomplishment when I finish a craft, and I’m way more excited to give the gift. So have fun with it!

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  • Homemade Card. This one of the easiest gifts you could make. Write a little love note in there, let them know how much you appreciate them. You can never go wrong with a personal note from the heart.

 

  • Bake Your Own Sweets. What man doesn’t like cookies or brownies? Go out, buy a heart shaped cookie cutter and make him up some heart shaped cookies and brownies. This is something you can do with your kids also, so I can be from all of you. You could even have him bake them with you, make it a romantic time.
  • Jars Filled With Candy. There are SO many ways to write cute little love quotes on mason jars with candy inside. I’ve seen numerous ideas on Pinterest lately. For example, fill a jar with Starbursts and write on the jar “You Make My Heart Burst” or fill with Sour Worms saying, “You’re My Greatest Catch”. I’m sure it’ll make him laugh a little.
  • Lottery Tickets. Everyone loves having the chance to win some money. Go spend $20 on some and shape them into a little lottery ticket bouquet and have him scratch away. If he wins big, make him take you to dinner 😉

 

  • Socks and Underwear. Believe it or not, my husband can always use socks and underwear and he surprisingly appreciates it immensely! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve lost a sock in the wash or found underwear that are starting to tear (and he continues to wear them). There are cute ways you can roll them up to look like roses or hearts. Get crafty with them!

 

  • Key Chain. Buy him a small key chain with your anniversary on it, or your kids birthdays. On Etsy there are SO many to choose from. They aren’t super big and bulky either, a simple leather one is perfect for a male! I’ve already bought my husband one before and he loved it.

 

  • DIY Coupons. Create a little booklet for him of some coupons he can give you at random times. Do one for a 30 minutes massage or an hour of uninterrupted video game time. There are so many different options with this one. Just create some that are suitable for your significant other!
  • DIY Beer Mug. I’ve made numerous DIY wine glasses at home and it’s an uncomplicated process. You get some paint, design away, and you can bake or let them air dry. There is SO many different options on Pinterest. If you have kids, let them do it! If your husband isn’t a beer drinker, make a coffee mug!
  • Car Accessories. You can go to the store and buy some air fresheners or cleaning wipes for his car. A lot of those products are inexpensive and they will definitely get put to good use if your man likes to keep him car clean and shiny.

 

  • Slippers or Pajamas. Men love being comfortable, so buying them something to lounge around in could be perfect. Plus, you can tell him he should wear them so you can have movie night or to binge watch some Netflix. My husband loves his slippers. He’d probably wear them to work if he could.

What do you plan on getting your man? I’d love to hear more ideas!

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The Last Month of Being Our Baby

11 Months.

Our little girl is just a month away from being ONE. I was looking on Timehop this morning of videos of her wiggling and hiccuping in my belly. I thought she’d never make her arrival. I was so impatient when it came to waiting for her birth day to come. And now it’s here, the last month of her as a baby. Let the countdown to ONE begin!

Liliana is my wild child. She’s the most loving little human, yet her sass and determination are strong. No matter what it is she wants, she goes for it. She’ll fall over, bump her head, get right back up and keep going. She’s a tough one. She also has that girly girl sass going on also. If something doesn’t go her way, you’ll know it. Those arms go flying and that screechy yell comes out (she might get all that sassiness from me, lol). She always thinks she’s going to miss something, so naps are rare with her. She keeps going and going until bed time, even that’s a struggle. My mother got her wish when she said “I hope you have a child who was just like you when you were younger”. Touché mom. I get it now. I was definitely a crazy one. Thank goodness car seats are more advanced now because that was my specialty, getting out of my car seat while my mother was driving.

Now for Liliana’s milestones… she’s killing it. She has her six teeth still. It was like all six came in at one time then they decided to take a break. She can now say Mama, Dada, Pop, Yes, Hi, Buh Bye, Uh Oh, Ke-Ke, & Rip (the last two are our pups, Keo and Ripken). She is standing on her own for short periods of time and her crawling is more like a speed crawl. She claps and copies everything her brother does. She’s always dancing. She loves her table food, yet she’s still teeny as ever. I wish I knew where it all went. I’m also starting to think she’s double jointed like me, because she bends all kinds of different ways. Gymnastics here we come!

This next month is going to be full of party planning and preparation. I don’t want to believe she’s already going to be one, but I’m so excited for the adventures ahead. Her personality is incredible. She’s definitely an extrovert, she’s going to be an outgoing one. I enjoy watching this little girly girl grow!

Follow me on Instagram for all the party planning and countdown to one, @katiecunni Follow the hashtag #LilianaMarieTurnsONE

My Life as a Stay at Home Mom

Before I quit working full time, I thought staying at home with the kids all day was going to be all sunshine and rainbows. I thought I would be able to relax all day in pajama’s, catch up on my shows or watch some Netflix, play with the kids, and be completely stress free. Well let me say, I was wrong. Staying at home may be harder than working full time (at least in my opinion). There’s no doubt that it’s more rewarding because I get all day with my children, but it’s definitely work; lots and lots of work. One thing I learned while staying home is there is not enough hours in the day. Trying to juggle raising two wild children while keeping up on house work, is a challenge. Let me tell you…

When my second child was born I was lucky enough to be able to stay at home with my kids during the day. My husband was able take over all bill payments, so that we didn’t have to fork out an extra grand a month for childcare for our daughter.

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I’m quite sure that I only get to sit about two hours out of the whole day, if that. My day must start with coffee, or nothing gets accomplished, so as soon as Liliana gets up she gets a bottle and I get some coffee. I do get to relax for maybe 15 minutes while she plays then my hectic day begins.

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My son gets up every day around 7:15AM, so he can get ready for Preschool. Once he’s up, I start making him breakfast. While he is eating I make his lunch, pick out the kid’s outfits, and get Liliana ready. Once he’s done eating I get him ready, myself ready (if there is any time), and off to Preschool he goes. It’s about a 20-minute drive to Preschool, so I’m in the car driving for about an hour and a half a day, just to get him to and from daycare, but I love where he goes so I’d never choose somewhere closer, it’s worth the drive. He goes to a small Preschool in Maryland that he and I just love. The teachers are phenomenal, the kids are so intelligent and full of life. I can’t even begin to express how much my son has learned there. He’s only there for half a day so there is only 3 hours in between dropping him off and picking him up.

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Once Liliana and I get back home she’s usually hungry, so I make her some food and feed her, then give her the rest of her bottle. For some reason, she refuses to hold her bottle, so usually I need to hold it for her. During that time, I try to get some breakfast in for me. Between all the baby shenanigans, you can’t forget the laundry, dirty dishes, what’s getting made for dinner, making phone calls, going to preschool events and meetings, running errands, and most importantly cleaning the house.

For me to get those household duties completed, cartoons must be on the TV 24/7 or Liliana wants Mommy. There goes the whole catching up on shows or watching Netflix theory I had in the beginning of this SAHM journey. I’m pretty sure I can recite every song from the show she watches. I’m not sure if other moms have heard of it, but she is glued to ‘Little Baby Bum’ on Netflix. It’s just a bunch of nursery rhymes that play for about two hours with a bunch of characters. She absolutely loves it.  Without that show, getting household chores done would be impossible.

Before I know it, we need to head back out the door to go pick up Kyle. Within the three-hour time frame, I usually manage to get done my workout, the dishes and one load of laundry. Usually on Mondays, I’ll be able to get my meal prepping in, then another day out of the week I go to the grocery store, which I must do while my son is in school because this mama is not doing a grocery trip with two crazy kiddos unless Daddy is with me! There are also our Target trips, which could easily last a good hour.

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Once Kyle is home, it’s nearly impossible to keep the house clean. I clean up the same toys every single day, I usually just want to give up on cleaning his room. It’s like a daily cycle for us moms. Coffee, get the kids to school, get the baby fed, clean up toys, dinner, repeat. Those are the last things I want to do, and it always feels like I never have enough time in the day to just play with my little ones, so you always need to make sure you make time for that also. Sometimes the household duties can be put on pause. It’s a never-ending battle between playing and cleaning.

I don’t know about ya’ll but my kids already love to torment each other. It has already begun, and Liliana is only ten months old! I usually don’t have a voice by the end of the night after all the yelling I do. Maybe that’s why I’m a lover of wine. Kyle loves taking toys from her, then tries to suck up to her after taking them by telling her it’s okay. Then he’ll get very lovable towards her, hugging and kissing her continuously, which makes her scream since he’s in the way of her cartoons which then makes her pull at his face, and he starts his whining. These two loves each other so much, but annoy each other at the same time. They are my sour patch kids, I can’t help but adore them, but I’m pretty sure I can hear their screams in my sleep.

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This is all exactly why I LOVE crock pot meals. They simplify dinner, yet taste so delicious. If my kids and husband eat it, I am satisfied. I must say though; my husband is the best cook in the household. He has me beat, which I honestly am SO grateful for because he loves to cook sometimes, which is a huge weight off my shoulders. We all then know once dinner is over, it’s the baths and getting ready for bed. I am lucky enough that both my kids love bath time, so that is a breeze (thank goodness, because by that time I am ready to crash).

Once the babies are in bed, my day doesn’t end. We need to fold laundry, wash even more dishes from dinner, I make my husband’s lunch for the next day, then I try to have some quality time with my husband before we both crash, which isn’t long at all. Did I forget to mention that I work some evenings for a few hours to pay for Kyle’s preschool?! Yeah, sometimes I feel like supermom, and sometimes I feel like I don’t have my shit together, and I’m a hot mess.  One of the hardest adjustments for me becoming a stay at home mom is not having my own income. Yes, I work sometimes, but that pays for daycare. My husband is my life saver, he is the provider of the income, he is the reason I’m with my babies all day and he always makes sure we are taken care of.

I’m am a walking zombie most days, but the stay at home mom life is for me. It is FAR from easy, and you should never underestimate a stay at home mom. We don’t work 9-5, we work sun up to sun down. We have our good and our bad days. We struggle sometimes and can barely get through the day, and our house stays a mess. Most days I am ready to pull my hair out, but being with my kids all the time makes it completely worth it. I don’t have to worry about missing time with them or question what they are up too. They are always there with me every step of the way, through the good and the bad. I honestly don’t know how I did it with my son working full time. I do praise you moms with full time jobs, I couldn’t see myself away from my babies that long out of the day anymore. They grow way too quickly and the stress of having a clean house is fine by me. I would easily take over all the household responsibilities just so the kids are with me all day long. I am blessed to have such an amazing husband who works his butt off to give us what we have today. No matter if you’re a full time working mom, or a full time stay at home mom. We ALL bust our booty’s to keep our family going, and us moms should all stick together and NEVER judge another mom because our lifestyle is different. We can all learn from each other, and that’s one thing I enjoy about being a mommy blogger. No mom’s life is easier then the other, we all want to raise our babies to be successful adults, and that’s a challenge in itself.

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Fabfitfun 2017 Winter Box Unboxing

Yes, two posts in one day, but I received my Fabfitfun box and I had to share what’s inside!

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I have tried a ton of mail subscriptions, and Fabfitfun is undoubtedly my favorite. This is the first box where I have been able to use everything inside. It is very versatile, and the box includes a variety of products that doesn’t just cover on or two segments. The box designs are always so beautiful and always go along with the season of the box. My whole box is totaled at $373 this month and I only pay $40 each season! You really can’t beat it. If you want to subscribe after reading this post, here’s my link for $10 OFF! (http://xo.fff.me/hfrrL ) It’s well worth the money and I honestly mean that.

This season’s box really “fit” me impeccably. This month’s box included

  • BB Dakota Poncho (I received the Mulberry)
  • AHAVA Mineral Hand Cream
  • DOUCCE Freematic Eyeshadow Pro Palette (I received the Nude)
  • Homemade by Ayesha Curry Ceramic Mug
  • Kate Somerville ExfoliKate Intensive Exfoliating Treatment
  • Pointe Studio Aloe Infused Cozy Socks
  • Grace & Stella Anti-Wrinkle & Energizing Eye Masks
  • 8 OTHER REASONS Nine Lives Choker in Silver
  • FFFTV Fitness Ball w/ Jillian Michaels Videos

The first product I grabbed out was the BB Dakota Poncho, valued at $70. It was so cozy and large that I might even use it as a small blanket too on an extra chilly night. Since I received the Mulberry, the colors involved are a maroon, navy blue, and a charcoal(ish) color. It’s a fall article of clothing in my opinon. I’d most likely pair it with a plain long sleeve shirt, jeans, a skinny belt, and a pair of ankle boots.

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Second was the AHAVA Mineral Hand Cream. This was a $33 value. It is said to be enriched with Dead Sea minerals, witch hazel, and allantoin. This was a clever product to put in the winter box considering your hands tend to get dry during this season. You can apply it several times day, especially after washing. I’m super excited to try it out.

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Third was the DOUCCE Freematic Eyeshadow Pro Palette. Valued at $70. I received the Nude palette and the colors are very soft and seem like the can go well with any outfit. Nude is suitable for everyone, nothing too dramatic just very simple to give your eyes that simple pop. It comes with matte and shimmer shadows, along with one highlighter. It’s said to have a “smudge-free” finish, so we shall see!

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Next is one of my favorites in the box. The Homemade by Ayesha Curry Ceramic Mug. Valued at $16. They must of know I was an exhausted mom of two who drinks entirely too much coffee. The mug fits me perfectly also since it says “I’d rather be in bed”. The design is adorable! It feels like a very durable mug also. I’ll be using this in the morning. To top it all off, the box gives you a recipe for Hot Cocoa and for us moms, Harvest Sangria!

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Then we have the Kate Somerville ExfoliKate Intensive Exfoliating Treatment. Valued at $75. Any kind of skin care, I am on board with trying. It has papaya, pumpkin, and pineapple enzymes which is told to improve the appearance of skin texture and pores, while brightening and reducing the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles. Challenge accepted.

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Now my second favorite, Grace & Stella Anti-Wrinkle & Energizing Eye Masks. Valued at $16. These puffy mom eyes are ready to give these a try! The collagen and minerals are designed to revitalize and rejuvenate your under eyes and bring back elasticity and youthfulness. Yes.. Please!

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I’m very curious about the next product, the Pointe Studio Aloe Infused Cozy Socks. Valued at $19. They are supposed to be soothing for your feet after a workout, and can last up 25-30 washes. I like to run, so I’m excited to try.

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Next is the layered choker, The 8 OTHER REASONS Nine Lives Choker. Valued at $58. I received the silver. It also comes in rose gold. It’s very simple, and it looks like I can pair it with multiple outfits. I’m also going to try it with other necklaces since it has the layered look.

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Finally, the FFFTV Fitness Ball with Jillian Michaels Videos. Valued at $16. This is a product out of three that I got to choose before the box was sent out. You’re able to choose certain products every month, but you only have a certain time period for it, so make sure to check the emails! Of course I chose the fitness ball because I love to work out, and it’s a perfect addition to my collection of workout equipment at home.

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You can also choose “add ons” for your box. They do cost extra but at a super cheap rate. This was my first time using the add on option and I ordered a food scale, for only $9.99! And its super sturdy and glass. I’m really excited to try it.

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This subscription is 100% recommended by me! I’m excited to try these products & be on the look out for a review post in a few weeks!