Tips to Help a Jealous Older Sibling.

 

Before I met my husband and we had our daughter, it was just my son and me. He was the only baby. He didn’t have to share me with anyone, share his toys, his grandparents, nothing. My only concern was him and only him, so he became a big mama’s boy, and to this day he is glued to my hip. I knew it would be a little tough bringing another child into the world.

When our daughter first came home from the hospital our son was so excited. He was eager to have a playmate, a best friend, a little sister. He was doing a great job with adding a new addition to the family and having to share mommy. Until he started to realize that she was here for good, and that he wasn’t mommy’s only baby anymore.

Why can’t we give her back”

“Do I seriously need to share my mom now”

“I thought I was your only baby”

Even for me the change was tough, I couldn’t imagine how it was for him. I got it, I understood. I knew it had to be tough so a big concern for me was figuring out how to make him never feel any less important than his little sister. I wanted him to know that they were both my babies.

From the day she was born and still to this day he is the most loving and caring big brother to his little sister, but he has his jealous moments, as I’m sure all older siblings do. He tries to act like a baby towards me thinking it will get my attention more, which I time and time again inform him that he is the big brother, he shouldn’t act like that and he needs to show his sissy how much of a big boy he is. There are times where he is a little too rough with her, and I need to inform him that hitting her isn’t the right thing to do.

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After experiencing this as a mother of two, I wanted to share some pointers that I have been working on to help refrain my son from getting jealous towards his little sister.

Give them their alone time with you. This is one I try to do weekly. Children enjoy one on one time with their parents. I try to do some activities with son by himself. We’ll go to the playground or make a craft together. We’ll try to do something that our daughter isn’t old enough to do yet, so I can show him that being a big brother can be fun because he can do some things that only big kids can do.

Teach them. Children learn through experimenting. You certainly don’t want them to experiment by hitting the baby and realizing that they are hurting them so encourage them to be gentle with the baby. Teach them to hug the baby softly, gently hold their fingers, or rub their feet. Let them know that a baby is fragile, and they aren’t as strong as them yet. Also let them know, that sharing is a good thing and just like they should share their toys they also should share mommy and daddy.

Never blame the baby. You don’t want your older child to think they can’t do something because their little brother or sister ruined it. You don’t want to tell them they couldn’t go to park because their sibling has a doctor’s appointment. Explain to them that you must run some errands first before going to play. You never want your older child to look at the younger one as a ‘burden’.

Involve them. Always try to involve the older sibling while taking care of the younger one. If you are about to feed them a bottle, have them help you hold it up. If it’s bath time, have the older sibling pick out the bath toy for them and help you wash them. If the baby is fussy, see if they can help get them to laugh. Having them do things together can help their bond grow stronger.

Give them praise. Support them. Let them know they are doing a great job at being a big brother or sister. Tell them they are doing a wonderful job when they help you out with the baby, and that you can see them becoming the best of friends. Reassure them that it’s fun being a big boy or girl, but also express how much you love them and that you understand it’s a big change in their life.

Don’t try to “fix” their negative emotions. Instead of insisting that their emotions aren’t real, try to understand how they feel. Show sympathy, but attempt to turn it into a positive outlook. Let them know that you understand how they feel but their little brother or sister loves them very much and needs them to help them grow up to be big like them. Also be sure to let them know that their help is really helpful to Mommy and Daddy and that you are very proud of them. You never want them to feel like they are wrong for feeling the way they do.

Never Compare. You don’t want your older sibling to think that you love the younger sibling more. So comments such as “you should be sleeping like your sister” or “see how they are being good” shouldn’t be said to big brother or sister. I’ve tried to refrain from those kind of remarks all together, even as they both get older.

These few tips have helped my son really enjoy his role as the big brother. Him and his little sister have built such a strong bond since the first day we brought her home. He still has his moments of jealousy, but just those few simple pointers has helped him tremendously along the way.

I hope they can provide some help for you other mama’s out there too!

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March of Dimes: March For Babies Walk

Right now, babies need all the support and help they can get.

Premature birth affects about 380,000 babies here in the United States. I’m walking in March for Babies to get the message out about this unfortunate problem and you can help tremendously!

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 For anyone who is a mother, we know it’s tough. For all of us, so why not help out other mothers out there who are in need.

I have teamed up with a group through Wellspan Health Urgent Care to help raise money for our sweet little loved ones. I’m writing to have you join me to help raise money to expand programs and educate medical professionals to make sure that moms and babies get the best possible care.

Together we can help the March of Dimes fight prematurity so more babies can get the strongest start possible. Anything helps. We greatly appreciate all the wonderful help!

Find my personal link here to help me raise money for a wonderful cause. All of us mothers need to stick together and help out each other as much as possible! My goal is to raise $500 before we walk on May 6th.

Anything would greatly be appreciated by all mothers and babies who are in need of our generosity and kindness.

If you live near the York, Pennsylvania area and would like to walk, please sign up and let me know. We’d love to have you join along!

Thank you so much.

 

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Valentine’s Day 2018!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Although we show love in this house every single day of the year, we make Valentine‘s Day just a teeny bit more special. Hubby and I never really go all out, we know how much we love each other, so it’s usually flowers and fruit for Mommy and something little for Daddy. Kyle usually picks out something beer related, which of course happened again this year, lol. The kids picked him out a frosted mug for the summer time.

This year we’re both fighting off a bunch of sickness, so our Valentine’s Day dinner will most likely be soups. We’re totally okay with that. Getting dressed up and going to a nice dinner isn’t quite our thing. 

The kiddo’s got their little goodies which usually includes a small stuffed animal, a little bit of chocolate, and some small knick knacks. We never get too extravagant with gifts on smaller holidays. Christmas is when we usually go all out. Kyle and I also prepared his Valentine’s cards for Preschool last night. Paw Patrol of course. He’s super excited to hand them out, he loves giving to his friends in school.

One thing I did decide to do this year was get the kids some Valentine’s Day photos done. Once I saw how much my little girl loved being in front of the camera, I had to do it! She just comes to life and shows that personality like no tomorrow. I love it! Kyle on the other hand gets a little shy, but I am so proud of how well he did and how good he was with his sister during the session. Another huge shout out to Taylor Mrozinski Photography. You capture my children so wonderfully, I can’t ever thank you enough!

Here they are, my beautiful, spunky, crazy little babies. Of course Liliana needed a shirt to let all the boys know she’s never allowed to date, ever. I can’t wait for the first day a boy gives her a Valentine’s Day gift. Daddy is going to be all over that situation. I can see him now, sitting on his Harley, trying to scare the crap out of this poor young boy. Bless her heart, she’s in for some fun with him, lol.

Aren’t they just the cutest! I’m so over the moon with how these photo’s turned out. I have some happy, loving children.

Now go share the love, and sprinkle that kindness to everyone you see today!

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Inexpensive Valentine’s Day Gifts For Him

Hey Everyone!

Valentine’s day is about a month away and I don’t know about you all, but I am terrible at picking out gifts for my husband. Women are a little easier in my opinion. Candy, flowers, a card. That’s all we really need. Men can be a little more difficult to choose for without spending a fortune. I decided to do some research to find some cute, inexpensive gifts for him. I’ve came to notice that a lot of these gifts require some DIY work which I think are way more sentimental than just purchasing something. There’s nothing wrong with getting a little crafty occasionally. I’ve come to really enjoy it. I feel a sense of accomplishment when I finish a craft, and I’m way more excited to give the gift. So have fun with it!

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  • Homemade Card. This one of the easiest gifts you could make. Write a little love note in there, let them know how much you appreciate them. You can never go wrong with a personal note from the heart.

 

  • Bake Your Own Sweets. What man doesn’t like cookies or brownies? Go out, buy a heart shaped cookie cutter and make him up some heart shaped cookies and brownies. This is something you can do with your kids also, so I can be from all of you. You could even have him bake them with you, make it a romantic time.
  • Jars Filled With Candy. There are SO many ways to write cute little love quotes on mason jars with candy inside. I’ve seen numerous ideas on Pinterest lately. For example, fill a jar with Starbursts and write on the jar “You Make My Heart Burst” or fill with Sour Worms saying, “You’re My Greatest Catch”. I’m sure it’ll make him laugh a little.
  • Lottery Tickets. Everyone loves having the chance to win some money. Go spend $20 on some and shape them into a little lottery ticket bouquet and have him scratch away. If he wins big, make him take you to dinner 😉

 

  • Socks and Underwear. Believe it or not, my husband can always use socks and underwear and he surprisingly appreciates it immensely! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve lost a sock in the wash or found underwear that are starting to tear (and he continues to wear them). There are cute ways you can roll them up to look like roses or hearts. Get crafty with them!

 

  • Key Chain. Buy him a small key chain with your anniversary on it, or your kids birthdays. On Etsy there are SO many to choose from. They aren’t super big and bulky either, a simple leather one is perfect for a male! I’ve already bought my husband one before and he loved it.

 

  • DIY Coupons. Create a little booklet for him of some coupons he can give you at random times. Do one for a 30 minutes massage or an hour of uninterrupted video game time. There are so many different options with this one. Just create some that are suitable for your significant other!
  • DIY Beer Mug. I’ve made numerous DIY wine glasses at home and it’s an uncomplicated process. You get some paint, design away, and you can bake or let them air dry. There is SO many different options on Pinterest. If you have kids, let them do it! If your husband isn’t a beer drinker, make a coffee mug!
  • Car Accessories. You can go to the store and buy some air fresheners or cleaning wipes for his car. A lot of those products are inexpensive and they will definitely get put to good use if your man likes to keep him car clean and shiny.

 

  • Slippers or Pajamas. Men love being comfortable, so buying them something to lounge around in could be perfect. Plus, you can tell him he should wear them so you can have movie night or to binge watch some Netflix. My husband loves his slippers. He’d probably wear them to work if he could.

What do you plan on getting your man? I’d love to hear more ideas!

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My Appreciation For My Husband

I’m going to get a little mussy for a second, and take a moment to brag about my hubby.

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Last night the kids and I stayed at my parents house because I had some appointments to go to that were down that way. I decided to meet my husband for lunch since we didn’t see him much of yesterday, and I had both kids with me. Of course, Monday’s are a hectic day for him, so we were only able to pick him up, order some Chick-fil-a through the drive thru and drop him back off. He knew he had people relying on him at work, and although we knew how much he’d rather sit and eat with us and avoid everyone who needed him, he went back in and most likely skipped lunch all in general. On my ride home, I had to explain to my son why he couldn’t eat with us. I told him that as much as he would have loved to eat with us, daddy was a hard worker and didn’t want to let anyone down. My son answered back, “Yeah, that’s good. He’s my best friend. I’ll be able to see him later”. My heart melted.

As you all may or may not know, I met my husband back in 2015. Not only did he have to accept me into his life, but he had to take on my 1 year old son also. We were a package deal, if you want me, you got my little man also. Without hesitation, my husband took him in like he was his own, and from that day forward we were all inseparable. It’s not easy taking on someone else’s child, it’s one of the toughest jobs you could put on somebody. The way my husband handled this whole co-parenting situation was more than I could have ever asked for. He still handles it just as well, three years later. That’s just the beginning of my appreciation towards him.

My husband is one of the most hard-working men I know. He will work all day and night just to make sure the kids and I are taken care of. He has put in overtime and even picked up a second job at times just so we don’t have to struggle. Words can’t even describe how much the kids and I miss him during the day, but he was raised to be the provider and the hard worker. He will give his last dollar to help someone in need. He’s always looking to better himself, and won’t stop until he succeeds.

When I became pregnant with Liliana, I was lucky enough to stay at home with my kids during the day. He wanted me to be the one to raise the children while he paid the bills and provided for us. Not only does he handle his daily work load at his full-time job, but he comes home, helps me take care of the kids, and even cooks dinner for us at times. He’s also in school to get his degree. He knows I have my moments where I am stressed and my anxiety is through the roof at times. He just scoops the kids up, fixes them dinner and lets me have some time to unwind. He’s my hero, and I always want him to know that.

Besides all the hard work he puts forth, the way he loves our kids and I is the most amazing feeling I could ever ask for. He has a heart of gold and never fails to let us know how much he loves us. He is a trusting, reliable, selfless man and he never would let us down. I don’t get to say often how much I appreciate him, but I do more than anything in this world. He has put up with my moodiness, my tears, my anxiety, and my pain better than anyone ever has. Just the other night he sat in the Emergency Room with me for twelve hours and didn’t want to leave once to grab some food because he didn’t want to leave my side. Not to mention it was from 5PM to 5AM the next morning. It was a long night, but he made sure to keep my needs before his.

I just want to say thank you to him. Thank you for being my rock. Thank you for never hurting us in any way. Men like him are hard to come by, and sometimes they need to be recognized for that. I love my husband with all my heart.