What Mom’s Truly Want for Mother’s Day

We all know that us mothers love anything we get from our kids on Mother’s Day. The homemade cards and crafts, beautiful flowers, a gift card to the spa. Trust me they are all great, but if we had the chance to truly say what we really wanted, aside from the traditional gifts, I think we can all agree to the list I’ve created below.

We can always dream, right?!

 Mother’s Day or not, I’m sure we’re still ready to pull our hair out at times because the kids won’t stop complaining or you’ve already heard “Mommy” for the umpteenth time. Those flowers look pretty in that vase on the counter, but you still have to clean up the house at the end of the day that the kids destroyed with their Barbie dolls and LEGO’s.

Well… here’s a few of my not so ‘traditional’ gifts that I think we can all agree sound lovely as a mother.

 

Sleep. All hail sleeping! If I could go a week straight with 8 hours of solid sleep each night I would feel like a whole new woman. No interruptions, no crying at night, no dogs stealing my spot in bed. I’d be one happy Mama. Maybe not even a week, give me the weekend, or even one simple night. That’s all I really need.

One. Night.

Coffee automatically made, just the way I like it. If I could walk downstairs to my Keurig each morning with a fresh 12oz coffee made with a splash of caramel almond milk creamer and two Stevia’s, my mornings would run so much more smoothly. Between waking the kids up, getting them fed, and the getting the oldest ready for Pre-K, coffee is usually the last thing that gets done before rushing out the door. Or it just gets forgotten in general and that ride to Pre-K is excruciating.

Childcare in Target. I think we ALL can agree on this one! How amazing would it be to just walk into Target, drop the kids off at the childcare center and be able to shop… ALONE. I know I’d be a fan, and it would definitely make me visit more often if that meant the kids could get their energy out while playing as I did my shopping. I just hope my husband is ready for multiple shopping sprees going on the bank card.

For the kids to actually ask Dad. Oh, you know, instead of the kids completely walking past dad, who’s just lying on the couch watch sports and asking mom to fix a toy while she’s in the kitchen making dinner for everyone, they stop and see if dad can do it first. We all know that mommy is wonder women, but daddy can do it too. We promise. He is fully capable of just about anything.

For the kids to listen the first time around. Instead of asking for the 18th time to put their shoes on in the morning, they do it the first time asked. Or, when you tell them it’s bed time, they go right in bed and go to sleep instead of insisting they are thirsty or hungry, or need to use the bathroom even though they just used it five minutes ago.

A clean home. To wake up to a clean house every morning is probably a dream for everyone, not only us mothers. Why can’t there be little magical fairies that come into our home every night to clean and prepare for the next day. They’d get a hefty tip from me, no doubt about it.

A hot steamy uninterrupted bath. Just give me thirty minutes in the tub without my little ones throwing in their rubber duckies or yelling in the other room that they need help with something. Some peace and quiet while soaking in the tub with a LUSH bath bomb sounds absolutely wonderful.

 

I would love to put together a survey and get the opinions of other mothers to see what they’d truly want for Mother’s Day compared to the traditional gifts we receive each year. Let me hear them!

Happy Mother’s Day to all you wonderful mama’s!

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Tips to Help a Jealous Older Sibling.

 

Before I met my husband and we had our daughter, it was just my son and me. He was the only baby. He didn’t have to share me with anyone, share his toys, his grandparents, nothing. My only concern was him and only him, so he became a big mama’s boy, and to this day he is glued to my hip. I knew it would be a little tough bringing another child into the world.

When our daughter first came home from the hospital our son was so excited. He was eager to have a playmate, a best friend, a little sister. He was doing a great job with adding a new addition to the family and having to share mommy. Until he started to realize that she was here for good, and that he wasn’t mommy’s only baby anymore.

Why can’t we give her back”

“Do I seriously need to share my mom now”

“I thought I was your only baby”

Even for me the change was tough, I couldn’t imagine how it was for him. I got it, I understood. I knew it had to be tough so a big concern for me was figuring out how to make him never feel any less important than his little sister. I wanted him to know that they were both my babies.

From the day she was born and still to this day he is the most loving and caring big brother to his little sister, but he has his jealous moments, as I’m sure all older siblings do. He tries to act like a baby towards me thinking it will get my attention more, which I time and time again inform him that he is the big brother, he shouldn’t act like that and he needs to show his sissy how much of a big boy he is. There are times where he is a little too rough with her, and I need to inform him that hitting her isn’t the right thing to do.

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After experiencing this as a mother of two, I wanted to share some pointers that I have been working on to help refrain my son from getting jealous towards his little sister.

Give them their alone time with you. This is one I try to do weekly. Children enjoy one on one time with their parents. I try to do some activities with son by himself. We’ll go to the playground or make a craft together. We’ll try to do something that our daughter isn’t old enough to do yet, so I can show him that being a big brother can be fun because he can do some things that only big kids can do.

Teach them. Children learn through experimenting. You certainly don’t want them to experiment by hitting the baby and realizing that they are hurting them so encourage them to be gentle with the baby. Teach them to hug the baby softly, gently hold their fingers, or rub their feet. Let them know that a baby is fragile, and they aren’t as strong as them yet. Also let them know, that sharing is a good thing and just like they should share their toys they also should share mommy and daddy.

Never blame the baby. You don’t want your older child to think they can’t do something because their little brother or sister ruined it. You don’t want to tell them they couldn’t go to park because their sibling has a doctor’s appointment. Explain to them that you must run some errands first before going to play. You never want your older child to look at the younger one as a ‘burden’.

Involve them. Always try to involve the older sibling while taking care of the younger one. If you are about to feed them a bottle, have them help you hold it up. If it’s bath time, have the older sibling pick out the bath toy for them and help you wash them. If the baby is fussy, see if they can help get them to laugh. Having them do things together can help their bond grow stronger.

Give them praise. Support them. Let them know they are doing a great job at being a big brother or sister. Tell them they are doing a wonderful job when they help you out with the baby, and that you can see them becoming the best of friends. Reassure them that it’s fun being a big boy or girl, but also express how much you love them and that you understand it’s a big change in their life.

Don’t try to “fix” their negative emotions. Instead of insisting that their emotions aren’t real, try to understand how they feel. Show sympathy, but attempt to turn it into a positive outlook. Let them know that you understand how they feel but their little brother or sister loves them very much and needs them to help them grow up to be big like them. Also be sure to let them know that their help is really helpful to Mommy and Daddy and that you are very proud of them. You never want them to feel like they are wrong for feeling the way they do.

Never Compare. You don’t want your older sibling to think that you love the younger sibling more. So comments such as “you should be sleeping like your sister” or “see how they are being good” shouldn’t be said to big brother or sister. I’ve tried to refrain from those kind of remarks all together, even as they both get older.

These few tips have helped my son really enjoy his role as the big brother. Him and his little sister have built such a strong bond since the first day we brought her home. He still has his moments of jealousy, but just those few simple pointers has helped him tremendously along the way.

I hope they can provide some help for you other mama’s out there too!

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Mom-Shaming, How is That Even a Thing?

This is probably more of a venting post for me, but I want my opinion to be heard on this because I’ve been seeing a lot of it lately and my main question is

 What’s the freakin’ point of it?!

 

It’s mind blowing to think that mom-shaming is actually a thing in today’s world. Last time I checked, we are all in this together and we all have one goal, to raise our children to be sweet, respectful, successful teenagers and adults. The way that mothers actually put forth an effort to let down other mothers these days is disgusting and frustrating to say the least. What makes you think you’re better than any other mother? Well guess what, you’re not.

Whether you decide to breast feed or formula feed, co-sleep or strictly put them in their crib, work full time or stay at home, have a cesarean birth or natural birth, send your child to daycare or keeping them home, feed them strictly organic food or McDonald’s Happy Meals. WHO CARES.

Why should any other mothers parenting style affect you enough to make nasty comments about it? You would think the maturity of a mother would be above that. We should be supporting each other and learning from each other, not bashing others and trying to be the better mom. Your child will always think you are the best mom out there, because you are their only mom, you’re the one who loves them more than life itself.

I recently had a remark made about my children’s Valentine’s Day photo preview.

“Why wouldn’t you put shoes on your child for their photos”

Hmm, well you know what, maybe my child doesn’t enjoy wearing shoes or considering that I know my child more than anyone else especially another mom-shamer, I know she would just constantly mess with her shoes and I wouldn’t get a good photo out of her. She is ONE, and she looks cute as hell with or without shoes on. If it bothers you that much, that you must go out of your way to comment about it, WHY LOOK. It’s freaking shoes ya’ll, SHOES! Do you seriously have that much time to analyze my photo’s that much? Ignore it, and go about your day worrying about more important things, or at least say something positive!

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(In case you all were wondering how “ridiculous” my child looks barefoot)

The difference is with mom-shamers and the actual mother is we know our children and our everyday lifestyle, quite well actually. (super shocking huh?!)

You just think you know our children and lifestyle.

I am so fed up with other mothers who think it’s okay to go out of their way to criticize someone else’s child just to make them look better. Or attempt to put down another mom, and assume they don’t know what they’re talking about just because their entire life isn’t posted on social media for attention. How could you even go about your day happily knowing you were throwing negative comments out about an innocent CHILD.

How do you even have the time for it?

My life is crazy with two kiddos, bless your heart.

Does it seriously make you feel like a better mother when you shame another mom while hiding behind a computer screen? Do you think it makes your children look better? Do you think it makes you look better? Please tell me, I’d LOVE to know the point of mom-shaming. Because in my eyes, it’s a pathetic, selfless way or showing you are insecure about your own self.

To all of you mothers out there throwing kindness around like glitter to all of us other mama’s trying our hardest each and every day, you’re the real MVP. That’s how grown, mature, adult mothers should be living their lives. Sometimes a confidence boost is what a mother needs during a stressful day, even if it’s different from your parenting style. It’s incredible the amount of criticism I see today on social media. I’ve witnessed it personally and I’ve seen it given to other mothers.

We’ve all made mistakes, we’ve all done things we regret, we’ve all wished we could have changed something, and I’m damn sure we’ve all had made comments about other parenting styles while at the playground or walking around the mall, I’m guilty of it, but the biggest thing about it is KEEP IT TO YOURSELF. It doesn’t make you look any better as a mother or human being by expressing your negative comments, if anything it makes you look like a damn fool, and hiding behind a computer screen, making nasty comments doesn’t make it any better than criticizing someone in person. It’s a shame.

#EndRant

#SorryNotSorry

#SayNoToMomShaming

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What I’ve Learned From Becoming a Mother

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When I became a mother, my entire life changed. During my first pregnancy I thought motherhood would be a breeze. I thought I knew it all and I was one hundred percent prepared.

“I read the baby books, I’m good”

Yeah… nope. I wasn’t good. I learned so much once my son was born, and even more when my daughter came along. Motherhood is one crazy, intense adventure. You will never have it all figured out. Every day of motherhood is completely different and your kids will always surprise you.

Here’s some things of what I’ve learned along the way! I’m sure you mama’s out there can all relate.

  • Silence is not If you have a toddler, you’ll understand. Unless they are sleeping at night, do not underestimate the silence. Chances are they into something they are definitely not supposed to be into!
  • Your house will never stay “magazine” clean. Let’s just be real. Little ones get into everything! They drop food on the floor, pull out every toy possible, put their fingers all over your windows. Trust me, I clean up multiple times a day to make my house look good enough. But, it will never be spotless.
  • Toys are pointless. I have bought numerous toys for my children over the years, and what do they play with? Tupperware, boxes, cups, etc. Half of their toys just lay around or eventually get packed up in boxes. I certainly don’t recommend going overboard with toys. If they want a new toy, tell them they should donate one first to another child who’s in need of toys.
  • Everything happens at the worst times. When we’re running late and rushing out the door, guess who decides to blow out her diaper last minute? Or my toddler, who decides to vomit in the car when we’re going somewhere that requires him to wear nice clothes. Always make sure you are prepared because anything can happen! I always pack extra, or give myself extra time.
  • Sleep is non-existent. Seriously, it’s not. You may think waking up every few hours only happens in the beginning, but no. There is the teething, the stuffy noses, or that random ‘I want to wake up in the middle of the night’ playtime. It’s inevitable. Let’s not forget that they decide to wake up at the crack of dawn on the weekends, but want to sleep all morning during the week when you have places to be.
  • Forget about privacy. Just the other day my son had a massive meltdown because he wasn’t in the bathroom while I was taking a bath. He absolutely lost it. They will follow you to the bathroom, the kitchen, your bedroom. You’ll always have a little one watching you.
  • Half the time you’ll look a mess. I’m that mom who will doll her kids up, and make them look adorable while I’m sporting no makeup and a mom bun. The effort and time to get myself together is rare. I’ve come to not even care what I look like anymore. Then when I do get dressed up, I feel like a freaking queen!
  • Pick your battles. As much as I love for my kids to look amazing, if my son wants to wear two different socks, I let him. I’d much rather have him all mix matched then dealing with a meltdown. If my daughter keeps pulling out her ponytails, whatever. She can have crazy hair for the day. Sometimes it’s just easier that way.
  • Take one moment at a time. Things will rarely go as planned. It’s nearly impossible to plan a whole day without something having to get switched up. I now go with one activity at a time. If we have time for another, then we’ll do it. I’ve given up on creating an entire day worth of activities.
  • Baby wipes are life. If you’re a mom and don’t agree to this, I’m shocked. Those little wipes can be used to everything! Cleaning butts, cleaning faces, cleaning tables. They are the best thing ever! I’m pretty sure when my kids no longer use them, I’ll still buy them.
  • Always put extra food on your plate. My daughter is only 11 months old and already wants to eat what’s on my plate. Don’t even get me started with my 4-year-old. I tend to always put double on my plate of what I know they like to eat, because it never fails that half of it won’t be eaten by me.
  • If your kid wants to snuggle, then snuggle! As they get older is doesn’t come often. So, when they ask, do it! Even with my younger one. She’s on the move now so she barely wants to sit still, but when she does I soak up every single minute of it. I can’t get enough of it.
  • Your car will never be clean, probably for the next 18 years. You’ll start with baby toys and pacifiers, move on to toddler toys and snack crumbs, and end with sports bags and water bottles. It’ll be an ongoing battle for the next few years!
  • Coffee is your best friend. Before kids, I could go without coffee. Now a days, coffee is my best friend. I’ve learned to love it and I’m sure you will too (If you don’t already).
  • You will feel like you aren’t doing a good job some days. It will happen, you’ll feel the mom guilt. But always try to remember, tomorrow is a new day and those tiny humans will always love you no matter what happens!
  • Raising a child is difficult, no matter what age you are. I was a young mom. I had my son at 22. People tend to think having a child at younger age will be harder. But I disagree, being a mother at any age is hard.
  • The worrying never goes away. I thought once my little ones were older and more independent, I’d worry less. That’s not the case. My son is four and I still constantly worry about him. I don’t think that’ll ever change, even when their adults.
  • You’ll be late to things. This happens, a lot. My husband and I are constantly late to events. Usually it’s that we forget something for the kids, or we underestimate how long it takes to get all four of us ready. Don’t feel bad when it happens, usually everyone gets it.

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